Thursday, December 18, 2014

three years

three years ago we met a tiny little girl in xi'an china.

it was probably one of the hardest days of my life. it was also one of the best.

we went up to the sixth floor of a dimly lit building and walked into a shoe box sized room that was already filled to the rim with other families. all there for the same reason, to meet their babies.

when we said "YES" to Ainsley, we knew she came with many needs, and that was ok. 
we were prepared and thankful that God would choose us to be her family. but nothing, and i mean nothing, could have prepared us for the day we met this little one face to face. no book, no blog post, no amount of prepping could have gotten us ready for that day. 

she was scared. she was tiny. and she broke our hearts.

we spent about thirty minutes studying and watching this little one. she held on to the nannies shirt for all it was worth. she shook and cried and was absolutely terrified. when she was finally placed in my mom's arms, it didn't get any better. she cried. my mom cried. dad cried. i cried.  it was just a big hot mess of two hours.

we got back to the hotel and discovered we had been given a very tiny baby girl. she weighed about 12lbs at 30 months old and struggled to even hold her head up. we cried. prayed. and literally begged God to direct our path. 
we decided that we were going to love this little one to pieces + with everything in us. 

we spent three weeks in china loving + getting to know this tiny girl. and before our eyes miracles started happening. it started with a smile, a laugh, eye contact, and noises. then to eating real food and getting too chubby for her 9-12 month sleepers. and this was just in china. it was beautiful to watch.

once home from china it got really good. before our eyes she transformed. she formed a personality. conquered the "impossible" and amazed everyone she met. 
we were told ainsley was "hopeless". We were told to never expect her to do anything. she would most likely be wheel-chair bound and would never be a "normal" child. oh, how wrong they were. how very wrong. 
the little girl that was never supposed to walk or talk was running after being home only three months. 

God was so gracious to us.

Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. it's the gospel in our living room and Ainsley's little is the most perfect example of that. God truly loves the orphan and He fights for them. He fought for her. for this one. 

Today, Ainsley weighs 38lbs, is solid + is the same size as her big sister. she is the sassiest thing you will ever meet and truly loves life. 
she is sweet and loving. 
she is fierce and a fighter. 
she loves to cause trouble and she will almost certainly call you a peacock. 
she is my heart and my little best friend and she reminds me daily of God's faithfulness.

today we celebrate the miracle of you, Ainsley. 

you are the most beautiful fighter i've ever known and i thank Jesus daily that he allowed me to be your Big Sister. you rock my world and you are my hero. thank you for teaching me what life's really about and for teaching me what love really means. thank you for the passion you've brought to my life. thank you for showing me that faith moves mountains + that miracles do exist. if i ever forget, all i need to do is look at you running around the house or reading a book. you are my miracle. 

 i'm in love with your spirit and your sassy stubborness that refuses to be defeated. i truly believe that fighter/little lion spirit is the reason you are here today. i'm in love with everything about you, babycakes.

you're gonna conquer the world, darling. and i'm going to be your biggest cheerleader every step of the way.

i love you to the moon and back peacock. happy, happy gotcha day.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His perfect power that is at work within us.
-Ephesians 3:20