Sunday, January 26, 2014

selling beads!

currently selling paper beads from Uganda in order to raise money for my move! 

these beads were handmade by women in Uganda. 

they are absolutely beautiful and come in multiple colors and sizes. 

i have a few bracelets but not near as many as i have necklaces. 

if you would like to see more necklaces, or are interested in ordering them, email me!


i'm continually thankful for everyones support in this new season of my life. 



Saturday, January 11, 2014

follow your arrow

all too often i become enthralled with someone else's life. all too often everyone's life but mine seems so much better. they have prettier hair. better bodies. more followers. better writing skills. and i find myself wanting to be just like them.

i want my life to be just as wonderful as theirs appears to be over a fuzzy social media screen, but here's the reality….

i'm not called to live anyones life but my own.

and sometimes, just being honest, that's hard. because sometimes what i feel is my calling doesn't seem to be as cool as some other peoples calling.

lately, i've realized that i might not be the only one with that issue of following in someone else's footsteps.

reading a book about someone who is doing awesome work for God in a certain country might light a fire inside of you and make you want to go do the same thing they're doing! It looks so cool, it's so life changing and you feel like you have to be like them.

as I dig deeper into my bible, i'm finding something come up repeatedly…follow your arrow. and make sure the one you are following is yours.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble | -2 Peter 1:10

basically, God has a beautiful plan for all of our lives! He has plans far greater than ANY we could imagine, we just simply need to open ourselves to Him. allow Him to take up the space in our life. allow Him to lead us to the place He desires for us to be.

and it's hard.

i found a quote the other day that hit home for me pretty hard. it said
"help me to put aside the things that are breaking my heart for the things that break Yours"

if we follow Jesus and truly go after His heart, our desires will be after His. it isn't as easy as it sounds, but it is so rewarding.

There is nothing more beautiful than being in the center of God's will and recently i've been learning that the center of God's will may take you all the way to Uganda or China, but it may take you to your neighbor or your local school.

If God called us all to the same place, we wouldn't be helping nearly the people. Praise God for people who have different callings in life. It makes for a really beautiful world and an awesome gospel.

i simply want this, to Be where my feet are.

simply that.

Be where your feet are.

let that sink in.

Be where your feet are. right here. right now. be a little rooted. dare to grow deeper. love the people who are right here, right where your feet are.

that's my plan. to follow my arrow right where God leads my feet. to grow and love and prosper right where my feet may land.

wherever He takes me, whenever He takes me.

i would encourage you to have the same prayer. don't seek anyone else's happy ending. follow your arrow. follow your feet. follow His calling on your life. it's gonna be beautiful, no matter where He takes you.

and when you finally get there, it's gonna be good. so good.


sometimes in life we are given moments and experiences that will forever be in our hearts and minds. they will follow you, you will see them in your dreams and they will forever change you. 

two years ago on december 22 i walked into an orphanage with amanda de lange. i was in xian china and although this was not my first time in china, nor an orphanage, it was my first time ever seeing the true side of it. 

the moment we entered that orphanage my heart was broken and my world came crashing down. i got a very very loud wake up call in that moment. and it's not stopped yet. 

see, the moment i walked in to that little room in the orphanage i spotted a baby across the room between two other babies and something inside of me jumped. something inside of me knew. i knew this little girl had to come out. i knew i could not leave her. and sweet amanda agreed and later praised my persistence for this little girl.

i went to the crib, picked up "my" baby and whispered a promise in her ear. as long as i had breath in my body she would never, ever see that orphanage again. it was a promise i kept. 

we left the orphanage, babies in hand and headed to the car. the entire time i take in this tiny, tiny baby's sweetness. Amanda told me i had to choose a name for her. i was so honored. and so i began to debate a name. so much is in a name. and i knew what her name had to be. 

i'm a planner. i love to plan. i love name meanings and i love dreaming of naming my future children. as soon as i thought of it i knew that was her name. her name would be liliana. liliana means God's promise and beauty. how fitting. 

we got back to starfish [the foster home]. bathed and weighed liliana [she was 4lbs 6oz!] and gave her her first full bottle. took some priceless pictures and cherished that little bit of time i got to spend with her. i looked forward to watching her grow through pictures and one day seeing her and loving her again. she was dubbed mine. i was head over heels. 

then, two years ago today i got the news that my liliana had passed away. i was devastated. i found out my liliana had passed away. i sobbed. and sobbed. and sobbed a little more. my heart was broken. broken for the little girl who will never have her family. broken because i will never get to hold her again on this side of heaven. she was my baby. i loved her with every ounce of me and now she was gone. and there was nothing i could have done. 

and then i realized something, she was never mine to begin with. she has always been His. from the moment she was conceived, to her first breath, the day i met her, and to her last breath, she has always been His. He only allowed me a small part in her story. 

there is a reason, i truly believe for liliana's life. she changed my life. she opened my eyes.

my sweet liliana is with jesus and she is whole. her death did not go unnoticed. she is not forgotten. she has been cried for. she is loved. and she is so missed. my sweet liliana is different from 163 million other orphans in this world. many who died today. many will die tomorrow. do you mourn for them like those who mourn for liliana?

we need a wake up call. we need to realize that there are babies just like liliana dying. there are babies who go completely unnoticed. we have to make a difference. we have to wake up. we owe these children that much. God doesn't call us or kindly ask us to care for the orphans…He commands it

you were so loved and will be so missed, sweet liliana. i forever will hold you in my heart. 

For everything comes from Him; everything exists by His power and is intended for His glory. To Him be glory evermore. -Romans 11:36