Robert

i've kissed a lot of babies.

i've held even more babies.

but no baby will ever compare to robert. he stole my heart and still has pieces that i will never ever get back. i met him in a baby home in june 2012.

he had a look to him. he craved attention. he was desperate for love.

and i was desperate to give it to him.

i spent three weeks loving robert with everything in me.

the entire first day with him was one that i hold in my heart. it's forever etched. i found him in the corner alone and made it my goal to love him for the day. to make him smile. and oh, i did.

i spent about six hours with robert. we played games, sang songs, walked around, and did normal things. i helped him eat, watched him get a bath, and put him in pajamas and kissed him and hugged him endlessly before putting him to bed.

i laid him in his crib and said "goodnight robert. see you tomorrow" and he said "goodnight mama." and my heart broke. this sweet sweet little one called me mama. mama is forever. mama is the healer of booboos and the bandager of all broken hearts. mama is the best thing in the world. and i wasn't robert's mama. and i couldn't be.

i kissed him goodnight. walked back to my room. and cried. i cried hard.

the reality of my day and the orphan crisis began to sink in. the reality that there are 147 million children just like robert who long for a mama to kiss them goodnight. i could play mama to robert for the time i was there, but that wasn't good enough.

babies need mommies. not nannies or care givers or directors. they need mamas.

i know that the number is overwhelming and i know that i can't save them all, but i can make a difference for one. and that i will do.

i don't think jesus would like babies being in orphanages.

is it better than the streets? absolutely. is it better than being in a home? never.

orphanages aren't the answer. families are.

we get in a mind set that orphanages are ok because babies get food and aren't on the streets. while that's great, it's not good enough. we need to rise up and rage war against this injustice. we need to fight and beg and do everything in our will for this to not be a normal thing.

if a parent cannot care for their child, we need to assist them. encourage them. and as christians support them. not take their babies. many parents love their children and want their children, but are just not able to support them. they feel as if their only choice is to give them up. it shouldn't be like this.

we need to decide that this isn't ok and it never will be ok. for all the children that go to bed without a kiss goodnight, for all the children that don't know the touch of a mommy, for all of the children yearning for a home, we need to stand up.

for all the roberts of the world, we need to make a change.

and there's no better time than right now.

Questions on Questions

lately I have been overwhelmed with questions about Africa and my announcement. saying I didn't really give many details, it's very expected.

here is my [best] attempt to answer just some of them so y'all can have a better understanding; :)


when are you going? 
-right now I am planning on leaving in July of 2014. It's tentative and until I book my ticket could change, but that is the plan.

where will you be? 
-Jinja, Uganda

how will you serve? 
-i will be working as a volunteer at ekisa. so so excited about this. they are an amazing organization. God has also been making ways for me to be able to work with many more groups and orphanages. my goal is to be Jesus to everyone i meet. i want Him to use me to the fullest.

for how long?
-i will be there for six months consecutively. i will then return to the states to decide about college or returning, depending on where God is leading me. 

why?
-please see my lovely tab above called why uganda. it does a much better job than i could do in this post. 

are you going with anyone? 
-me, myself, and i. my mom or dad will probably travel with me to move me in, but then i will be by my lonesome. thankful i have many wonderful, precious friends that are already living there that cannot wait for my arrival. [have i mentioned i was blessed?]

will you be posting anywhere? 
-i'll be posting basically everywhere. i have some cute little links on my sidebar that will show you the way. followers make my heart oh-so-happy so, feel free to follow me on instagram, Facebook, twitter, & of course my blog. 

can we help you? 
-um, ABSOLUTELY. soon and very soon i will be revealing my tshirt design. i am going to be sending out letters. i would love donations of any kind. i am selling uganda jewelry and bags. 
if you wanna do something, please contact me.
i have many things i need to take for donations. 
above all money needs, prayer is so much more important. please continue to lift me up in the coming days. so. much. to. do. 

well, that covers the basics.
i cannot thank you all enough for your prayers. i feel i am in the center of God's will right now. it is getting stressful and i get worried, but i am thankful for the One who went before me and knows all the days ordained for me.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style”