Waiting

feel free to ask anyone that knows me, literally anyone. Patience is not ya girl's thing. i am in love with instant gratification. (which is honestly why weight watchers, long nails, and online shopping have never been my friend) i like now. in my hands. right when i want it. 

so, as i'm in this season of waiting it is so not easy. it's actually hard. and i find myself constantly aching to return. i feel as if it is never going to happen, but i've began to realize something. God is teaching me. Yes, me. My stubborn, hard headed, my way or no way self the glorious thing that is patience. and in order to keep it real, lemme just say, it sucks. 

God's plans are pretty fantastic. much much better than mine for sure. and i'm so thankful that when i go off on my own path, he brings me in. ever so gently and patiently. He guides me right to where i'm needed at the moment. 

God's been so patient with me for so many years. i have never been your rebellious teenager, but i have for sure been the girl, after being frustrated and basically losing all hope, thrown my hands up in the air and declared, "k God that's it! i quit. i'm not gonna do it. i can't take it anymore and i am so done." 

yet, here i am. so not done and so doing it. 

He is faithful, so faithful. and Because God is graceful, I am Brave. 

whether my waiting leaves me in America longer than planned or takes me to Uganda sooner than imagined. i'm here and i'm waiting for whatever it is that Jesus has for me. 

ready or not, 

here i am, Lord send me. [isaiah 6:8]