The Baby Home

I heard stories about it. I dreamed about it. I couldn't wait to get there.

We arrived in Uganda at 7am. We got through security, rode through two hours of traffic, ate lunch at Cafe Javas, checked into our guest house, and finally went to the baby home.

I literally ran with Emma to get there. To finally meet babies. FINALLY. 

Once we got there my heart broke into about ten thousand pieces.

So many tiny little babies ran to me. cried for me. and wanted me. they wanted to be loved, cherished, and just held. I am only one person though. I can only do so much. Thankfully, I have 20 amazing team members who jumped right in and loved just as many babies. 

There was one certain baby who caught my heart and eye. He was in the corner alone and no one had yet to pick him up or play with him. He looked different than most of the babies in the home because he was so light. {I know that probably sounds awful, but if you saw it you would understand} 

so, I went and scooped him up and declared him mine. Everywhere I went, R went. It stayed that way for two weeks. He was my baby. I spent 5 hours loving and holding and feeding and kissing and bathing R that first day. I put everything in him and made sure he knew how much I loved him, and more importantly how much Jesus loved him. 

The next morning at 7:15am we were back down to the baby home where I saw my boy again. He saw me and came running. He didn't leave my side from then on. I gave him a bath, dressed him, and then walked him to school. Then my heart broke in half as he waved goodbye to me and said "Bye, Mama!" with his sweet smile and big eyes. "He called me mama" I thought. He called me Mama. 

Mama is forever, Mama is love, Mama means the one who will do anything for you, the one who will never leave you, who will always kiss you good night, Mama is forever. 

and I am not forever. I am someone who came to temporarily love this little boy with everything I have.
See, R doesn't have a mommy. He doesn't have someone that is forever. He is an orphan. 
We continued to love everyone of the babies that we could get our hands on. I kissed every single baby that came within two feet of me. I loved babies. 
I was thrown up on, slobbered on, cried on, talked to, laughed at, loved fiercely, and ruined. 
All for some babies who need Mamas. and IF I was given the chance, I would do it all over again. i would break my heart into 14 million more pieces, cry a little more, and beg for a solution. All over again. 

My first day in Uganda was perfection and exhaustion and wonderful and hard, but when I crawled under my mosquito net that first night, I could not wait to get up and do it all over again and I knew saying goodbye would be the hardest thing I had ever done.