selling beads!

currently selling paper beads from Uganda in order to raise money for my move! 

these beads were handmade by women in Uganda. 

they are absolutely beautiful and come in multiple colors and sizes. 

i have a few bracelets but not near as many as i have necklaces. 

if you would like to see more necklaces, or are interested in ordering them, email me!

ashtonbry[at]yahoo[dot]com 

i'm continually thankful for everyones support in this new season of my life. 

xxx

Ashton 

follow your arrow

all too often i become enthralled with someone else's life. all too often everyone's life but mine seems so much better. they have prettier hair. better bodies. more followers. better writing skills. and i find myself wanting to be just like them.

i want my life to be just as wonderful as theirs appears to be over a fuzzy social media screen, but here's the reality….

i'm not called to live anyones life but my own.

and sometimes, just being honest, that's hard. because sometimes what i feel is my calling doesn't seem to be as cool as some other peoples calling.

lately, i've realized that i might not be the only one with that issue of following in someone else's footsteps.

reading a book about someone who is doing awesome work for God in a certain country might light a fire inside of you and make you want to go do the same thing they're doing! It looks so cool, it's so life changing and you feel like you have to be like them.

as I dig deeper into my bible, i'm finding something come up repeatedly…follow your arrow. and make sure the one you are following is yours.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble | -2 Peter 1:10

basically, God has a beautiful plan for all of our lives! He has plans far greater than ANY we could imagine, we just simply need to open ourselves to Him. allow Him to take up the space in our life. allow Him to lead us to the place He desires for us to be.

and it's hard.

i found a quote the other day that hit home for me pretty hard. it said
"help me to put aside the things that are breaking my heart for the things that break Yours"

if we follow Jesus and truly go after His heart, our desires will be after His. it isn't as easy as it sounds, but it is so rewarding.

There is nothing more beautiful than being in the center of God's will and recently i've been learning that the center of God's will may take you all the way to Uganda or China, but it may take you to your neighbor or your local school.

If God called us all to the same place, we wouldn't be helping nearly the people. Praise God for people who have different callings in life. It makes for a really beautiful world and an awesome gospel.

i simply want this, to Be where my feet are.

simply that.

Be where your feet are.

let that sink in.

Be where your feet are. right here. right now. be a little rooted. dare to grow deeper. love the people who are right here, right where your feet are.

that's my plan. to follow my arrow right where God leads my feet. to grow and love and prosper right where my feet may land.

wherever He takes me, whenever He takes me.

i would encourage you to have the same prayer. don't seek anyone else's happy ending. follow your arrow. follow your feet. follow His calling on your life. it's gonna be beautiful, no matter where He takes you.

and when you finally get there, it's gonna be good. so good.

liliana

sometimes in life we are given moments and experiences that will forever be in our hearts and minds. they will follow you, you will see them in your dreams and they will forever change you. 

two years ago on december 22 i walked into an orphanage with amanda de lange. i was in xian china and although this was not my first time in china, nor an orphanage, it was my first time ever seeing the true side of it. 

the moment we entered that orphanage my heart was broken and my world came crashing down. i got a very very loud wake up call in that moment. and it's not stopped yet. 

see, the moment i walked in to that little room in the orphanage i spotted a baby across the room between two other babies and something inside of me jumped. something inside of me knew. i knew this little girl had to come out. i knew i could not leave her. and sweet amanda agreed and later praised my persistence for this little girl.

i went to the crib, picked up "my" baby and whispered a promise in her ear. as long as i had breath in my body she would never, ever see that orphanage again. it was a promise i kept. 

we left the orphanage, babies in hand and headed to the car. the entire time i take in this tiny, tiny baby's sweetness. Amanda told me i had to choose a name for her. i was so honored. and so i began to debate a name. so much is in a name. and i knew what her name had to be. 

i'm a planner. i love to plan. i love name meanings and i love dreaming of naming my future children. as soon as i thought of it i knew that was her name. her name would be liliana. liliana means God's promise and beauty. how fitting. 

we got back to starfish [the foster home]. bathed and weighed liliana [she was 4lbs 6oz!] and gave her her first full bottle. took some priceless pictures and cherished that little bit of time i got to spend with her. i looked forward to watching her grow through pictures and one day seeing her and loving her again. she was dubbed mine. i was head over heels. 

then, two years ago today i got the news that my liliana had passed away. i was devastated. i found out my liliana had passed away. i sobbed. and sobbed. and sobbed a little more. my heart was broken. broken for the little girl who will never have her family. broken because i will never get to hold her again on this side of heaven. she was my baby. i loved her with every ounce of me and now she was gone. and there was nothing i could have done. 

and then i realized something, she was never mine to begin with. she has always been His. from the moment she was conceived, to her first breath, the day i met her, and to her last breath, she has always been His. He only allowed me a small part in her story. 

there is a reason, i truly believe for liliana's life. she changed my life. she opened my eyes.

my sweet liliana is with jesus and she is whole. her death did not go unnoticed. she is not forgotten. she has been cried for. she is loved. and she is so missed. my sweet liliana is different from 163 million other orphans in this world. many who died today. many will die tomorrow. do you mourn for them like those who mourn for liliana?

we need a wake up call. we need to realize that there are babies just like liliana dying. every.single.day. there are babies who go completely unnoticed. we have to make a difference. we have to wake up. we owe these children that much. God doesn't call us or kindly ask us to care for the orphans…He commands it. 

you were so loved and will be so missed, sweet liliana. i forever will hold you in my heart. 

For everything comes from Him; everything exists by His power and is intended for His glory. To Him be glory evermore. -Romans 11:36

two years

two years ago we met a tiny little girl in xi'an china.


it was probably one of the hardest days of my life. it was also one of the best.

we went up to the sixth floor of a dimly lit building and walked into a shoe box sized room that was already filled to the rim with other families. all there for the same reason, to meet their babies.

when we said "YES" to Ainsley, we knew she came with many needs, and that was ok. we were prepared and thankful that God would choose us to be her family. but nothing, and i mean nothing, could have prepared us for the day we met this little one face to face.

she was scared. she was tiny. and she broke our hearts.

we spent about thirty minutes studying and watching this little one. she shook and cried and she was terrified. when she was finally placed in my mom's arms, it didn't get any better. she cried. my mom cried. dad cried. i cried and it was just a big hot mess.

we got back to the hotel and discovered we had been given a very tiny baby girl. she weighed about 12lbs and struggled to hold her head up. we cried. prayed. and decided to love this little one to pieces because she was desperate for it.

we spent three weeks in china loving this little girl to absolute pieces. and before our eyes miracles started happening. it started with a smile, a laugh, eye contact, and noises. then to eating real food and getting too chubby for her 9-12 month sleepers. and this was just in china. it was beautiful to watch.

once home from china it got really good. before our eyes she transformed. she formed a personality. conquered the "impossible" and amazed everyone she met. the little girl that was never supposed to walk or talk was running after being home three months.

God was so gracious to us.

Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. it's the gospel in our everyday lives and Ainsley is the most perfect example of that. God truly loves the orphan and He fights for them.

Today, Ainsley weighs 30lbs. is the sassiest thing you will ever meet and truly loves life. she is sweet and loving. she is fierce and a fighter. she loves to cause trouble and she will almost certainly call you a peacock. she is my heart and my little best friend and she reminds me daily of God's faithfulness.

we celebrate the miracle of you, Ainsley. you are the most beautiful fighter i've ever known and i thank Jesus daily that he allowed me to be your Big Sister. you rock my world and you are my hero. thank you for teaching me what life's really about and for teaching me what love really means. thank you for the passion you've brought to my life.

 i'm in love with your spirit and your sassy stubborness that refuses to be defeated. i'm in love with everything about you, babycakes.

you're gonna conquer the world, darling. and i'm going to be your biggest cheerleader every step of the way.

i love you to the moon and back peacock. happy, happy gotcha day.

i will praise You because i am fearfully and wonderfully made. 
-psalm 139:14

Help Your Own

ready to step on some toes here, but lately i feel like it must be said.

ever since we have adopted from china the phrase "help your own" has come up, a lot.

don't get me wrong, i do understand where these well meaning people are coming from, but that does not mean i agree with them. there's the beauty of america summed up in one sentence.

when we began our adoptions, we were going completely on God's calling on our life and His will for our family. we didn't adopt for Facebook pictures, or to look "good" or so we could get ugly stares from women in grocery stores. we just didn't.

we adopted because God commands we as christians care for the orphans. He doesn't ever suggest it or tell us we can if we want to. He is VERY clear on orphan care and it's a command. (james 1:27)

i  clearly remember quite a few very ugly Facebook statuses wrote about our family claiming that we were selfish to adopt from another country when there were plenty of children in our own backyard that needed help. why go around the world when you can simply go to another state? "help your own first."

reasonable, i assume, except for this one thing: no where in the bible does God say "Help the orphans in your country" He simply tells us to help the orphans (and widows) in their distress. our family did just that. we adopted three children who would have grown up in an institution. never knowing who this Jesus is.

if you are not doing anything to help anyone, i really don't have anything to say to your judgement on my family. if you believe we should "help our own" then by all means, get out there and help! there are multiple places/organizations that would be happy to have volunteers. but please, don't tell others who are helping someone somewhere that they should help someone different, when you yourself aren't doing anything to begin with. everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but please for the love of all that is good in this world, be kind and wise with what you say and type.

i believe every child deserves a family. no child ever deserves to be left to grow up in an orphanage. babies need mamas not caregivers. so, why does it matter where the needy child comes from? why should it matter what this child looks like or what language it speaks? a child is a child. and they all need a home.

God does not see us as americans, africans, chinese, russians, or europeans. He sees us as His children. we're all desperate for His mercy and His endless grace. we're all His. regardless. so, next time instead of raging the "Help Your Own" war. give grace and rejoice in the fact that a child has a home and is beloved. rejoice in the fact that there is one less orphan in the world. rejoice in the fact that a man/woman is willing to leave their home and go to the corners of the world to share His good news. and next time, get out there and change the world yourself. no matter where it is you end up.

Orphan Sunday

a sunday and a day late, that is.

forgive me, guys.

Orphan Sunday came in as quickly as it left and I completely missed it other than a nice little Facebook post.

orphans and vulnerable children are so very close to my heart. they are so very close to God's heart. i love the idea of orphan sunday for many reasons. it isn't raising awareness about just adoption, or just sponsoring kids, or just reunification, it is bringing awareness to the plight that is The Least of These. Don't get me wrong, adoption is a beautiful thing. it is redemption in every definition of the word and i love adoption, but it's not always the answer.

below are some statistics about orphans and vulnerable children of the world.

According to UNICEF about 17.8 million children are true orphans. when i say true orphans i mean children that have lost both parents. 11 million children will die of starvation or preventable diseases. 8.5 million work as slaves or prostitutes. 2.3 million live with HIV/AIDS. all of these statistics add up to about 163 million needy children in the world.

the numbers are saddening and are so overwhelming at first glance. BUT there are 2.1 billion people who claim to be Christians. the truth is, if only 7% of these people would care for one child, these statistics wouldn't exist.

where are we the church as this crisis continues to rise? what are we doing to stop this tragedy. these children are growing up. in most countries at age 16 (or before) these precious children are kicked out of their orphanages and foster homes and put on the street.

where are we to help aid the mother that is desperate to be able to care for her child? where are we to take in the child that is desperate for a family of his own? why are we not raging war against the injustice that has become of this world.

when i was in Uganda i first hand experienced this injustice. i will never forget the mama i met in the village. she had a little girl that was probably no older than three and a very tiny baby that had down syndrome. she came to us begging for money to get formula for her baby. after more examination we begged this mama to allow us to take her and her baby to the clinic so the baby could receive further care. this mama came with everything she had ready to get help for her baby. mama and baby spent weeks in the hospital and this mama never left her little one. she loved her baby and without our help she would not have been able to get care at this hospital. this precious baby died in the hospital due to a heart condition. but this mama fought for her baby and never, ever left her side. it's a sad reality for so many parents. they are desperate to care for their child. they love their child, but our world is cruel & unfortunately without the help of others, it just isn't possible.

we have gotten to a mindset that because we have money, we are clearly a better fit for these children. this isn't always the case. in some cases, it absolutely is. but our research needs to be done. children are supposed to be in families, not institutions. babies need mamas not caregivers.

i have been blessed with three siblings adopted from China. it was truly one of the best experiences in my entire life. God loves the orphan and He truly places the lonely in families. Adoption makes families and it changes lives. If not for the adoption of my siblings they would never know who Jesus was and they would most likely have lived in an orphanage and been kicked out when they turned 13. most of the children that are put on the streets become the slaves and prostitutes. they don't choose this life. it's unfair and it's not just. Adoption is the difference. In some countries, children can never be reunited with birth families, but can be placed with adoptive families and that's where we come in. where are we church?

Not everyone is called to adopt, but everyone is called to do something. God doesn't give us an option. He commands us to care for the orphan and widow. He commands us to step out and care for the Least of These. it's not a friendly suggestion, it's demanded of us.

You don't have to travel the world to change a life. It may take place in a foreign land or it may take place in your backyard, but we are all called to make a difference. You may not be able to change the world, but i promise we can all change the world for one. and sometimes, one is enough.

Let them know Him through our Love.

Happy [belated] Orphan Sunday.

Waiting

feel free to ask anyone that knows me, literally anyone. Patience is not ya girl's thing. i am in love with instant gratification. (which is honestly why weight watchers, long nails, and online shopping have never been my friend) i like now. in my hands. right when i want it. 

so, as i'm in this season of waiting it is so not easy. it's actually hard. and i find myself constantly aching to return. i feel as if it is never going to happen, but i've began to realize something. God is teaching me. Yes, me. My stubborn, hard headed, my way or no way self the glorious thing that is patience. and in order to keep it real, lemme just say, it sucks. 

God's plans are pretty fantastic. much much better than mine for sure. and i'm so thankful that when i go off on my own path, he brings me in. ever so gently and patiently. He guides me right to where i'm needed at the moment. 

God's been so patient with me for so many years. i have never been your rebellious teenager, but i have for sure been the girl, after being frustrated and basically losing all hope, thrown my hands up in the air and declared, "k God that's it! i quit. i'm not gonna do it. i can't take it anymore and i am so done." 

yet, here i am. so not done and so doing it. 

He is faithful, so faithful. and Because God is graceful, I am Brave. 

whether my waiting leaves me in America longer than planned or takes me to Uganda sooner than imagined. i'm here and i'm waiting for whatever it is that Jesus has for me. 

ready or not, 

here i am, Lord send me. [isaiah 6:8]